A Letter to Your Weary Heart, and Mine

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Dear Heart,

The world is an ugly place these days. You feel it deep.

People are lost, empty. Lashing out in their confusion.

You don’t understand it. Neither do they.

Dear heart, don’t become jaded.

The news bleeds these days. It’ll rip you raw, but don’t let it numb you.

Apathy is just as dangerous as hatred.

All this hurts so deep, but don’t close your eyes to the broken.

Don’t shut your ears to their cries.

Don’t close your heart off. I know you want to.

Fear runs rampant. It trembles in the bravest knees.

Dear heart, don’t let it debilitate you.

Dear heart, the world needs you.

Your voice is small, but your light is steady. It shines brightly in this darkness.

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You don’t have all the answers and your love isn’t big enough to fix a broken nation, not to mention a broken world.

But you have hope and you know a Love that is able.

You may not be able to heal a hurting society, but you can soothe one hurting heart in the mess.

You can reach for another trembling hand and clasp it brave. Because hearing “you are not alone in this” can break down defenses and soften a bitter heart.

People will challenge your intentions, your beliefs, your strength. They will call you names to shut you up because they’re afraid of the truth in your words.

Will you stand under pressure?

Will you fall on your knees in prayer for the victims, because it could have been you?

Will you intercede not only on behalf of the persecuted and abused, but for the persecutors and abusers as well?

Because all need grace.

Especially you. Especially me.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Dear heart, don’t weary yourself with worry. It is not your battle to fight.

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Be still and know His heart – toward you, toward them.

Be still and know that He is working good out of all this mess, because that’s what the Father does.

Be still and know. He is greater. He is good.

 

“This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s…you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!” 2 Chronicles 20:15b, 17 NLT

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A Letter to Your Weary Heart, and Mine

A Prayer for a Broken Nation

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My second alarm pulls me out of bed at 6:39 and I stumble to the bathroom still heavy with sleep. Email notifications come tumbling in and another screaming headline falls heavy in my chest.

More dead and injured in these racial wars and haven’t we had enough??

Yet another round of bullets tear through skin and hearts and the seams of this nation.

What has happened to you, America? When did you become a land of fear and hate instead of the freedom you sing of?

How can we “keep calm and carry on” when people are fighting each other, as if people are the enemy?

We have pushed God out of the picture and failed to see the spiritual war waging around us. Faces buried in technology and hearts bound with busyness and striving, our souls are starving for love and acceptance. Our words have become weapons, putting down and wounding the very people God has created and called beautiful.

It’s all part of Satan’s cunning plan – his plan to break the heart of God by hurting the ones He loves – blinding humanity so they fight each other instead of coming together against him, the true enemy of our souls.

I see a video of flashing lights and gunshots and motionless bodies and the tears stream down these pale cheeks. I’m not proud to be an American today.

Yet my heart is grieved for this country of mine and what am I doing about it?

I’ve often quipped, “Oh, I’m just not into politics…” and carried on with my head in the sand but is this right?

Conviction cuts deep.

Father, I ask that You would shake our sleepy bones from their graves of complacency. Break our hearts for the state of this world and this nation. Awaken us to be the people You have called us to be. Give us the faith to stand on Your Word and the courage to speak up and speak out for Truth.

“The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me
because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor,
heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives,
pardon all prisoners.
God sent me to announce the year of his grace—
a celebration of God’s destruction of our enemies—
and to comfort all who mourn,
To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,
give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,
Messages of joy instead of news of doom,
a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.
Rename them “Oaks of Righteousness”
planted by God to display his glory.
They’ll rebuild the old ruins,
raise a new city out of the wreckage.
They’ll start over on the ruined cities,
take the rubble left behind and make it new.
You’ll hire outsiders to herd your flocks
and foreigners to work your fields,
But you’ll have the title “Priests of God,”
honored as ministers of our God.
You’ll feast on the bounty of nations,
you’ll bask in their glory.
Because you got a double dose of trouble
and more than your share of contempt,
Your inheritance in the land will be doubled
and your joy go on forever.”

(Isaiah 61:1-7 MSG)

Family of God, this is our anointing too. We are the prophets, the messengers of God in this age.

I implore you to search your own heart. Get on your knees before God. Let Him break your heart for the things that break His. Allow Him to humble you, and to raise you up again by His grace to be the hope that this would so desperately needs.

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If ever there was a time that Daniel’s prayer rang true, it is now:

“I turned to the Master God, asking for an answer—praying earnestly, fasting from meals, wearing rough penitential burlap, and kneeling in the ashes. I poured out my heart, baring my soul to God, my God:

‘O Master, great and august God. You never waver in your covenant commitment, never give up on those who love you and do what you say. Yet we have sinned in every way imaginable. We’ve done evil things, rebelled, dodged and taken detours around your clearly marked paths. We’ve turned a deaf ear to your servants the prophets, who preached your Word to our kings and leaders, our parents, and all the people in the land. You have done everything right, Master, but all we have to show for our lives is guilt and shame, the whole lot of us—people of Judah, citizens of Jerusalem, Israel at home and Israel in exile in all the places we’ve been banished to because of our betrayal of you. Oh yes, God, we’ve been exposed in our shame, all of us—our kings, leaders, parents—before the whole world. And deservedly so, because of our sin. ‘Compassion is our only hope, the compassion of you, the Master, our God, since in our rebellion we’ve forfeited our rights. We paid no attention to you when you told us how to live, the clear teaching that came through your servants the prophets. All of us in Israel ignored what you said. We defied your instructions and did what we pleased. And now we’re paying for it: The solemn curse written out plainly in the revelation to God’s servant Moses is now doing its work among us, the wages of our sin against you. You did to us and our rulers what you said you would do: You brought this catastrophic disaster on us, the worst disaster on record—and in Jerusalem!

‘Just as written in God’s revelation to Moses, the catastrophe was total. Nothing was held back. We kept at our sinning, never giving you a second thought, oblivious to your clear warning, and so you had no choice but to let the disaster loose on us in full force. You, our God, had a perfect right to do this since we persistently and defiantly ignored you.

‘Master, you are our God, for you delivered your people from the land of Egypt in a show of power—people are still talking about it! We confess that we have sinned, that we have lived bad lives. Following the lines of what you have always done in setting things right, setting people right, please stop being so angry with Jerusalem, your very own city, your holy mountain. We know it’s our fault that this has happened, all because of our sins and our parents’ sins, and now we’re an embarrassment to everyone around us. We’re a blot on the neighborhood. So listen, God, to this determined prayer of your servant. Have mercy on your ruined Sanctuary. Act out of who you are, not out of what we are.

‘Turn your ears our way, God, and listen. Open your eyes and take a long look at our ruined city, this city named after you. We know that we don’t deserve a hearing from you. Our appeal is to your compassion. This prayer is our last and only hope:

‘Master, listen to us!
Master, forgive us!
Master, look at us and do something!
Master, don’t put us off!
Your city and your people are named after you:
You have a stake in us!’”

(Daniel 9:3-19 MSG)

 

 

A Prayer for a Broken Nation

The Truth About Coming Home

I’ve learned, as a writer, that there are certain words you can’t force.

There are times when you must write even though you don’t feel inspired and that can certainly be useful, but there are certain times you can’t.

These are the words that come from quietness and pondering; the kind that seem to overflow from somewhere deep within.

This is what I have found to be true.

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I have been back on US soil for over a month now and I’ve wanted to write about it all – how crazy and scary and amazing the past 9 months have been – but I couldn’t. The words weren’t ready.

But as I’ve began to finally settle into a rhythm in this new-old life and discovered that it’s far harder (and far easier) than I anticipated, words have been simmering at the back of my mind and in my spirit.

And when 4 different people (who you didn’t even know read your blog) in the last two weeks ask about your old blog and if you still write on it because you should…you know it’s time.

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For me writing has always been about breakthrough, about sorting through the pieces after a storm and making sense of it all, turning it into something beautiful, something useful, and passing it back to those who follow.

But lately there has been this whisper in my spirit – something about writing humble, about not having some wisdom to offer after everything is alright, but being something to offer in the midst of the process. Something like carrying hope alongside the hurting and not merely throwing it back from the finish line.

I’ve been humbled a lot over the past few months – had my eyes opened to who I am without God, when I loose sight of His way and misplace His Lordship with my own. It’s a terrifying thing to realize you are capable of doing the very things you’ve judged others for.

And I’ve prided myself in being a non-judgemental person, an empathetic. But sometimes God strips away the person we think we are, and shows us what we really are apart from His grace.

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No part of me wanted to leave Indonesia. And I had plans to stay. I had it all worked out in my head how I was going to make it happen. But that last Friday in April I was offered a choice that wasn’t really a choice to return to the US and continue my studies. I cried ugly for a whole weekend, threw a lot of questions at God. Yet His only answer was the same thing He always says,

Do you trust Me?

So I swallowed hard my plans and my tears, packed two suitcases, and hugged my friends and life in Bali goodbye.

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I know this is just a season. And I’ve come to understand why I’m here. The Lord has work I need to do, people I need to talk to, things I need to learn. It’s a process. I’m learning patience, trust, and discipline.

But I now have a job that I love and is challenging and stretching me in new ways. My church is launching a new campus in a different part of town and I get to be a part of that. I am meeting new people and building relationships and making connections. I have an opportunity to study at a great university with wonderful professors. God is good. He is really good.

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I’ve learned that you can’t force things, and sometimes you can’t choose.

There are times when you must follow blindly, just trust that He knows what He’s doing, that He really truly does know best.

And with quietness and pondering,

This is what I have found to be true.

~Grace

 

P.S. I am thoroughly enjoying being back with my family. ❤

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The Truth About Coming Home